Rus & Jenny; 1993

Copyright (©) Ward B. Rasmussen. All rights reserved.

Ralph & Jamie Family photo circa 2004

Maxwell, 2009

Abby, 2009

Paige, 2009

Rus shared this with the family after his divorce from Jenny was finalized:

Sad Sunday news.

I realize these things usually get passed through the grapevine and that it isn't always communicated correctly so I thought I would take this unorthodox approach. Some of you may be aware that this past week was the finalizing of Jenny and my divorce. It has been, as you might expect, the single worst experience of my life. Lots of pain, tears, sadness, and heart-ache. In a million years I never thought I would find myself in a position like this because I knew I'd never give up. Shocking newsflash - apparently we don't get to control everything.

Jenny has been sick for a very long time (in fact at least as long as we'd been married - 19 years). She has multiple sclerosis, depression, anxiety, bi-polar and a host of other associated maladies. It has been a tough, tough time for her. She's had some good times and years but the last 9 years have progressively gotten worse. I won't take you through the saga but in the end being a wife and a mother for her is just too much responsibility and pressure. She has a lot of self-loathing and sadness that have accumulated over the years. Did I contribute to that? Without question - in some ways I knew and in many ways I wasn't aware. This whole thing has been a very humbling process. I'm sure you'll cross paths with her in the future. I know you'll be kind. She's just lost in a black cloud for now and hopefully whether in this life or the next will have some clarity, peace and happiness.

For my part, the kids and I are living in the same house, doing the same things, annoying each other on a daily basis. People ask me how the kids are doing through all of this. They are of course very sad but their mom has been sick their whole lives so in terms of routine and such nothing has changed for them. Maxwell asked me the other day if we could all still go to the Celestial Kingdom because of this. I thought it was a great question and gave us a chance to talk about covenants from Heavenly Father and how our most important responsibility is to live the very best we can based on what we've learned from Heavenly Father. The promises are sure and we cling to those even (and especially) when life seems to be kicking us in the backside.

In case you're wondering if I've fallen off the wagon (was I ever really on it - I usually am hanging under it) I'm still faithful in the gospel, still work at the Church, still serve on the High Council - and am still a nerd.

Thanks for the kindnesses over the years. Family has been critical to us surviving this disaster. There's a long road ahead but we're walking the right direction.

All of the family aren't on Facebook so you're welcome of course to pass the message to them if you want. I'm not trying to broadcast it to the world (in spite of what it looks like) I just know that people I care about are going to hear so I'd rather have them hear through me.

I'm open to questions, comments, rants, railings, kick-in-pants, whatever if you want but PLEASE don't think you need to respond to this email. This is mainly for informational purposes.

Mucho love. D&C 90:24

Rus

Next >

< Previous